Hidden fears

Weird topic to start of a new entry in the new year ,but the title captures more or less what has been going on through my mind.We all fear something maybe its about speaking up in a crowd,not fitting in,being different or maybe loosing that which is most precious to us.Come to think of it our lives are defined by the fears from which we suffer .
To a child his or her fears might be of getting caught on not follwing the edicts set by his parents,to a new employee it might be of his messing up the work he has to do in office and so on ....for me its the fear of loosing the one thing which maintains my sanity .
I finally managed to find true love (surprising aint it ??)but from therein rose my fear of loosing her.Not that i suffer from paranoia of her going to somebody else because she loves me...more than i do, it seems to me always.What i am scared of is of her wellbeing.We managed to ride out the storms in our relation ship i.e. angry parents,scheming relatives.her illness and other things it seemed like a regular drama the likes of which u get on star plus ,but we survived to come out stronger than before but at times i feel my resolve failing i just want to sit in a corner and scream my lumgs out at the unfairness of it all.
She has not been keeping well it seems that she gets better and i dare to hope but all of a sudden things get messed up.Sometimes i feel like god is a kid up there with a giant magnifying glass burning us up like ants just for the heck of it .I dont know what tomorrow will bring but i know that i will keep on fighting and smiling for her ..for the one thing which makes me sane .The one person i trust more than i trust myself .My fiance